I need help or i don't want to live anymore

Celost,
I am sure your terribly worn down by all you have to deal with (whatever that is) however so many of us are too, and we often feel like you, and yet we somehow find some way to push through and forward, I guess if you have a belief in a higher power, ie..God, self or other it helps, though this doesn't mean your not allowed to feel the way you do!! You have every right to feel what you feel! I just hope you dont give up or give into the thinking that "not living is better" because honestly there are people who woould miss you and whom by your choices good or unhealthy would indeed be affected by! I keep telling myself this and too as a GOD fearing person I myself feel that giving up and folding is only making things worse for myself! (I am only saying what I myself tell myself in order to keep moving forward, because if I dont I could easily go to that place of no return. Too, things change all the time and what feels like overwhelming despair often changes with the situations I am in, too making a list of what I am grateful for helps me to remain focused on how much worse things could be, or get, for myself )I dont know if this would help you any because I dont know your situation, but if anything I said helps you - which I hope it does, just remember I care about your wellbeing even if I can not solve your problems, I just know things wont always be as they are for any of us!
May Gods Peace and love excell all other thought and feeling(s) of saddness and aloneness, and encourage you further for at least today!